GaMei-PeiLaTe

When your muscles are aching Your legs are swollen Your heart heavy You want to stop Everyday is a struggle Every breath a sigh When did it become so tiring To live When did each deep breath Become so shallow When did the fatigue kick in When did the fight become a struggle When did swimming become drowning When did running becoming escaping When will the trail end Why did it start Blurred beginning, blurred ending, blurred turns How will I put it To describe How will I end

I let my tears run dry Hoping you would see the stains That stick across my cheeks But you only had eyes For the way she smiles I raise my arm to wave But all I see is your back I can admire your broad shoulders But not lean on them I see you play with her hands And her letting you do that I could, too, if only you would so much As touch my finger tips You ask for my help To catch this girl you like I asked you what you liked And I could, why I couldn't do What you said she could too I only didn't have her face And her voice And her laughter As you wait for her And say she won't so much As initiate a "Hi" You don't seem to realise That so

Days like this I cannot calm down My heart beats within me Louder, it sounds My strength is leaving No hope retaining My mind has darkened Clouded, no vision Days like this I need a corner To hug my knees And cover my ears To hide my face And bend over So at least The tears Can flow Days like this Maybe one of them Is the day I die

Over and over I would fall By a simple touch I sway By a single smile I stay Again and again I would say Not once more shall I sway Now once more shall I stay I don't see how great you are But my heart is blind It loves the pumping rhythm That resonates with mine My mind sees But it is easily charmed It brings back the memories That have sweetened with time I had those moments I distanced Sway, but hidden Stay, but away Yet I always divert From the path that I should Because you are not there Time and again I tried to say Goodbye, to you But never did it last For I always say again Hi, there Over and over I fall In love with you

In the middle Again, I say in the middle Of the night When you think silence falls You hear the noise But your windows are closed Your doors shut Not behind the thick curtains Nor under the bed But coming from a place I say, a familiar place They creep out And shout Or whisper by your ear They say, you must hear You toss, they don't disappear You hide, no you can never hide Do nothing think nothing Oh naive you can always only be thinking something You can ignore You can brush off But never are they truly gone You say you're haunted They say we're no ghosts "we are you" For they come from within, the voices

I say My friend I want you to know Within them hold The soft and the gentle The soothing and the genuine They contain the power That endures the falling tower They possess the strength That support the falling walls I leaned I lied Upon the gentle Upon the strong Up I am lifted Forward I am persuaded They point me to the hole Where light seeps ever slightly through But they themselves are the light That brightens my cave I say My friends To your kinds words, they Thank you

In the middle of the night When I lay on my bed With my blanket pulled to my face The coldness remains The voices speak At times they shout At times they come whispering In my dreams My nightmares My waking moments The living hell They curse who I love They curse me I hate I can never shut them out Never am I louder Never am I stronger Always am I softer Always am I weaker They occupy my mind They make me go mad I pull my hair Like I am trying to pull them out I slap my hands Like I am trying to slap them dead I shout in silence Like I am trying to shout them away They never give up They want me to give up Will I lose? And fall off the hi

I wish for the day When the tears can go away When I can once again Break into smiles And laugh the day away I look forward to the day When I can leave the world in peace When I can finally Lay down the burdens And run forth to my King I run after the day When I don’t know when When I hope I can Be finally at rest And in grace find an eternal joy